Heather Masterson

The number of unsolicited emails that I get is unbelievable. Except it’s not unbelievable. Not really. Which is sad. “Quit whining, just delete them!” Yeah, because passive acceptance is so totally my thing. (/sarcasm) Also, passive acceptance of shit things is what allows shit things to keep happening. On many, many levels.

I received an email with something like this in the subject line: “Want your writing to be as perfect as it can be?”

That was eight days ago, but I can’t get it out of my head. Not the article — I didn’t read it — just the subject.

Knee-jerk snarky response: “No! Absolutely not! Who the hell wants perfection? Booooooring!”

Sullen response: “Sure, why not. Then I’ll find out that I’m already as perfect as I can be, and I’ll have to jump off a bridge or something.”

Cynical/snarky response: “Yes, because this one website will tell me the secret. The secret that will change everything. Please, please give me the magic golden key to success. I’m sure it won’t cost me a thing. I can’t click fast enough.”

Paranoid response: “How do you know that I’m a writer? Have you been watching me? Did you tap my phones? Are you intercepting my texts? OMG, is THIS why Xbox quit supporting Kinect — are they leasing it out so people can SPY on me? DAMN THAT ALEXA!”

Getting eight zillion emails like that one burns you right the heck out, especially when so many of them turn out to be crap. Or worse than crap. The same goes for links, advertising, etc. They all promise something amazing, and so many of them fail to deliver. (Well, they occasionally deliver malware, but that’s not what I’d call amazing.)

Sometimes, finding quality content feels like a dungeon crawl. You have to hack your way through a lot of clickbait spiders, spammy trolls, and deceptive cranium rats to find things worth looking at. It makes me wish I could quit you, internet.

It’s just temporary, though, because I always strap on my armor and head back into the dungeon. After all, there IS gold in there. Articles, books, movies, games, art — there are things out there right now that will blow me away. I just have to find them. I’ve read, watched, and played things that were so fantastic, I wish I could wipe them from my brain so that I could experience them for the first time all over again.

Finding something that good is worth hacking through a few (million) gelatinous cubes.